Finding Out

Drew's best friend helps him discover who he is. 1,663 words.

Rob and I were like brothers. We grew up together. Our houses were on the same street. Our families vacationed together. We were inseparable all through grade school. Rob was always the more popular one though. In high school he was the big football jock. I was a band geek. But he never made me feel like an outcast. Even though we were the same age, I looked up to him like a big brother. And he treated me like the younger brother he never had.

Rob was a magnet for girls all through school. There was always a pretty girl on his arm. He dated the head cheerleader for two years in high school, just like a good high school jock is supposed to. I, on the other hand, never had a girlfriend. Not for lack of trying. I was always going after girls, but with no success to speak of.

In the summer of 1991 everything changed between Rob and I. I had just been accepted to a major college in another state. He had decided to stay close to home. It would be the first time we were away from each other since we were born. Our senior year had just ended and we knew that our lives were about to change.

One particularly hot night we were hanging out on the roof his parents house reminiscing about the good times we had growing up. We stayed up laughing all night, bringing back all the memories of our youth. It was late at night, and we were getting really tired. I told Rob that I should be heading home. And he asked me not to go. I thought he was just being funny. He had a sense of humor like that. He had a habit of saying things like “Drew, don’t leave me!” But he always said it with such a wry smile that I took it as a joke.

This time, he wasn’t smiling. His face was right next to mine and there was a look of longing in it. He leaned in to me and kissed me, gently, on the lips. The blood immediately went rushing from my face, turning it an even deeper shade of white. I didn’t know how to react. The kiss was amazing. I felt myself get hard immediately. I leaned into him and kissed him back. This time we let it linger a bit longer. As we continued to kiss his hands began to wander down my body, running over my bare chest, down to my stomach, and finally resting on my crotch, outside of my shorts. I didn’t think it was possible for my dick to get any harder, but somehow it did. I ran my hands over his muscular chest, letting my fingers feel his abs, and finally laid my hand on his crotch too. He was just as hard as me. We continued to make out like that for what seemed like an eternity. Then he stood up, helped me up, and led me into his bedroom – all the while my dick stayed hard.

Rob gently laid me on his bed and we continued to make out. He reached down and pulled off my shorts and boxers. His warm mouth kissed me all over as he made his way down to my cock. And then he sucked my hard bone better than I could have ever imagined it could be done. I had no idea how good it could feel. It was all I could do not to cum the moment he wrapped his mouth around my dick. But I was able to hold on. He sucked and licked me until I finally couldn’t take it anymore. “I’m gonna cum” I groaned. He stroked my cock with his hand until I did. He kissed my stomach and chest and made his way back up to my mouth and then he laid his head on my chest. 

“Do you want me to do you now?” I asked him, timidly, quietly.

“Maybe next time,” he replied before falling asleep.

I woke up the next morning feeling sticky and sweaty, but really happy, I guess you could say euphoric. Rob was sleeping on his stomach next to me. He looked so peaceful I just wanted to kiss his neck and back. But I didn’t. I laid there, replaying the events of the night before. And then the panic started creeping in. What does this all mean? Am I gay? Is he gay?

I slowly got up from the bed and went into the bathroom down the hall. Rob’s parents were out of town, with my parents, so I knew we were alone. I stepped into the shower and the thoughts continued to race through my head. To this day I don’t know why I didn’t go home right away. It seemed that my heart was a lot smarter than my brain that day.

My adrenaline level was out of control and I could not stop my cock from throbbing. Every time I thought about the events from the night before I got more excited. I stood there in the shower letting the hot water hit me and stroked myself until I came.

I finally left the bathroom and went back to the bedroom where I found Rob sitting on the edge of the bed, staring out the window. I suppose he was thinking about the night before too.

I went to him, stood in front of him. He looked up at me and said “morning.” For some reason with just that one word, I dropped to my knees and began to sob.

“Drew, what’s wrong? Was it not good?” Rob asked genuinely.

“No…I mean…” I began to stammer. “It was amazing, but why did you do that?” Was all I could manage to get out before my sobbing got worse.

“I don’t know, I just, it felt like the right thing to do.” He replied as he reached out and touched my face gently. I moved closer to him he put his arms around me, holding me close as I cried for reasons I could not explain at that time.

Several minutes went by before I finally stopped crying and calmed down. I moved my head slightly and kissed his neck. At first he started to pull away, but then he moved into me and let me kiss him gently. My hands wandered around his stomach and hips and kept moving down. He stopped me before I got to his dick.

“I’m starving. Want some breakfast?” He said as he stood up quickly. I was confused, why wouldn’t he let me get him off like he did for me? But I didn’t push.

We ate breakfast together, quietly. Every now and then we would say silly things like “wonder if it will be hot again today” or “is there a game on tonight?” But neither of us spoke about what was going on, really.

I walked home after breakfast and the wild thoughts continued to race through my head. I felt like all my neighbors knew what had happened the night before. Which was so dumb because this was about the millionth time I had spent the night at Rob’s. For some reason though, that day it felt like everyone was staring at me.

For the next few days Rob and I didn’t hang out. I think we were both just so confused that we didn’t know what to say to each other. One night I finally decided I couldn’t take it anymore and I walked down to this place. 

Rob answered the door and his face lit up. He was happy to see me.

“Hi.” I said.

“Hi.” He said.

“Can I come in?” I asked.

“Um, sure.” He replied.

We sat on opposite sides of the couch. We weren’t uncomfortable. Just unsure of what to do with ourselves. 

Finally I broke the silence. “I’ve been thinking a lot about the other night.”

“Ya. Me too.” He said.

“I’m sorry I haven’t called or anything.” I offered.

“That’s ok. I’m sorry too.” He said quietly.

“So, do you want to talk about it?” I asked.

“Um, not really. Do you?” He answered back.

“No, not really.” I lied.

More silence.

After awhile I moved closer to him on the couch. I put my hand on his bare leg. This time he didn’t move away. I slid off the couch and kneeled in front of him, kissing his chest and stomach, my hand massaging his hard cock inside his shorts. He writhed and moaned in approval. I pulled his shorts off and let my mouth slowly close around his dick. I sucked, licked, kissed and stroked him until he came.

I looked up at him with satisfaction. I had made him feel the way he made me feel just a few nights ago.

“Drew. I’m not gay.” He said, suddenly and with authority.

“I know.” I said, and I really did know. “I am.” I confessed.

“I know,” he said back to me.

“How did you know; I just figured it out myself?” I asked and proclaimed at the same time.

“I always knew. And I wanted to be the one to help you figure it out. So I gave you what you needed.”

We spent the rest of the night talking about what was ahead for us. I left for college at the end of the summer. Rob and I kept in touch nearly every day. I went back to visit as often as I could. We never fooled around with each other again. Rob found himself a wonderful girl and they got married last year. I spent my college days having the time of my life. And because of Rob’s selfless act I was able to find my soul mate, Joey, who recently moved back home with me so that I could be near my family and my best friend.